Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
