I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
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