Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
