Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Holy sore nipples Batman
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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