It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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