it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
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we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
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Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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