Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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