my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
