A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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