Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
