One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
