I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
