I wanna bring you to show and tell
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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