I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Randomize
