He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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