so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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