you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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