You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize