Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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