go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
