Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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