God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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