I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
