So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
