That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
