We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
