Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
