I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
