one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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