You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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