I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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