apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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