i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
