Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
