There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
