Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
