Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
