so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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