I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
