Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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