we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
