I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
