He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize