what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
