Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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