That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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