I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
