it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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