We got so high we made milksteak
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
