I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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