Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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