His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
