Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
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