Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize