Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
