so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Just pee around me
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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