By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
