so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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