break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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