Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
