it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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