RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
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found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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