Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
