Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
